It's 10am and I already messed up the "I'm going to do the self-care and not do the self-destruction" thing I said I'd do.



I should be wayyy more fked up than I am which is extremely concerning since that kinda means I have a tolerance higher than I knew, and I don't remember much (I'm assuming moreso due to dissociation and probably a TBI). Steep, slippery slope. Like, Flume Slide trail in the spring. Or N Tripyramid slide after a rain.

T rescheduled meeting with the CM and herself to tomorrow. If they ask about substance use and I remember this, and I'm honest (which I most definitely will be JUST SO I DON'T GET SHYT FROM THE PSYCHOTHERAPY SUBFORUM ) I have a feeling they're going to get ridiculously angry at me. My CM literally growled like a bear when I told her I drank even though I clarified it was only 3 shots.

There are two cats in here just staring at me. We don't have cats.