Maybe I'm already in a (polysubstance abuse) full blown relapse. I'm not using/drinking every day, and I think most of the time I do I'm dissociated and it doesn't feel like it's *me* doing it.

In the past week and a half I've drank quite a bit, alcohol being my DoC, but as soon as I got up this morning I went wild on quite a few different things, uppers and downers. It's really hard to find weed here without going to other New England states that doesn't have other stuff in it (I've had a lot of trouble finding weed that was JUST flower without leaving the state), so that was a little careless of me too.

I don't know. It doesn't feel like a problem right now. I'm still at the point, I think, that if I just chose to, I don't have to go back to needing to be under the influence all or most of the time, but kinda don't want to be present in my life. I haven't for a long while. Not sure if I ever was.