They pretty just wanted to straight up ask me in person if I was actively suicidal which I am not (not sure for the reason of asking me in person? Maybe just to get a better idea of what I physically look like/body language?). I explained I am engaging in some dangerous behaviors and we figured out what triggered the sudden intensified "this could either kill me or give me an adrenaline rush, win-win situation" thought process--which those triggers are pretty much a boatload of environmental and social stressors. My thought process is "I don't care if x behavior kills me," rather than "I'm going to do x behavior to kill myself," so I'm fine and don't need help.