"It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?"
More like she got knocked up and found out kissing leads to pissing.

CM is supposed to call and check in today. Said if she thinks I should, I get to see her and my therapisti again at 4:30pm!!! Yay! My two FAVORITE fking people on this planet (sarcasm). Only happening if she can give me a ride. I don't get the point of this. Just talked to them on Friday and I see T apparently tomorrow. wtf? It's like miss one appointment and a bunch of phone calls, say you're amortal and taking advantage of that, rant about your partner being a porn star, and tell them you're drinking/using a tad heavily than before, they don't want to turn into some sort of liability to them and would pretend it's sad if they think a client's going to die because they don't realize if you could die, you'd be dead like all the other mofos you used to hang out with...

I wrote like 3 paragraphs on my alcoholism, but no one wants to hear it. Let's just say I am already obsessed and that is pretty much all I've been thinking about, and it's only been a week of knowingly drinking a bit too much.

eta: I was trying to do the math and control myself to not be drunk but also not be shaky, emotional/irritable if they do make me go, but I screwed that up and pretty much have to choose between the two at this point.