My mum broke her fingers in a freak accident after her insurance company went to have a look at the car that couldnt start. Long story short the car started and dragged her along the car and her hand was gripped onto the side of the car as she attempted to get in and stop the car. My sister went outside into the car whilst I held my mum whilst she was screaming and bleeding. This happened on the last Saturday at 4pm. Of course now she can't do anything with that hand and it was the left thank god it wasn't the dominant hand but now all I hear is endless insults on my cleaning ability. I can't cope because I do the dishes three times a day trying to pick up the slack since she can't do it. It's not good enough. It just really hurts to be in this situation. Meanwhile Tafe says I'm ready to enrol and I'm not excited about anything I have no interest or desire in anything and think that life is meaningless. I feel like we all die and turn into dust so why torture myself based on what Centrelink wants me to do. I'm still waiting for my NDIS papers to back and that is hopefully on the 31st of this month. I just hate that it's like never good enough for her. If I'm being honest I don't think it's my cleaning ability I think it's her that has high standards because shes the same with not liking how my sister hangs on clothing. If I'm being honest I don't think there is really a purpose to life and I never want to hear about jobs and pathway because it just makes me want to cry at how difficult and impossible that is. Also now I'm a dependent on my mum and she's now in a compromised state I think I have more important things than to care about Centrelink and it's stupid demands. How about priotizing my care and getting me mentally healthy but they are as dumb as a door why would they ever consider that maybe I'm not faking it. Also piss off my mum is a diabetic and I should be taking care of her. Don't make me even madder and feel even more guilty because I've failed in a daughter when I'm meant to be taking care of her. Like omg who cares about work without health you have nothing but these dumbs arses don't see it like that. Even Tafe is like are you looking at career paths no because I hate people they make me anxious there's no meaning in getting close to anyone plus it hurts and people disappoint and hurt you anyway. I don't care and just want to make mums life easier I just want an occupational therapist I'm really not asking for much I'm just annoyed. Also seeing her in this state makes my heart hurt so much because it's like sucks. Also if I don't learn these things when she dies I just get thrown to my dad's and that's a fate worse than death believe me.