I am sorry you are struggling but you can’t really say no one is helping.

You receive government pay, you get free courses and classes for many years, you don’t have to work, you don’t have to worry about bills because your family pays it. That’s a lot of help.

Yes your mom is not feeling well now and you have to help at home more. But that’s a normal expectation. As about her expectation of cleanliness, I am not sure what those are. It’s hard to tell if she is being unreasonable or not

As about “having” to work. Yes most people have to work if they want to eat. But if you have other sources of income or someone else supports you, you don’t really “have” to work. It’s ok not to. We aren’t telling you to go work (only if you ask for advice).

I don’t know what people you are referring to when you say you want them to die because they judge you? Are these specific people or in general? I don’t see anyone on here being nasty or unhelpful to you. Are those people are irl?

As about purpose. Sometimes we all have these kind of thoughts but most of the time we just live our lives and find pleasure in little things.