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earthmama said:

I used to be really, SUPER, self-sufficient. I didn't rely on anyone for anything. Since starting T, I've learned to let other people support me. And now I feel like everyone around me has said "go ahead, jump out of the plane, you've got a parachute" and I'm halfway to the ground and my parachute has disappeared.


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This is going to sound weird, but I think it is so great that you allowed yourself to HAVE a support system that fell apart-- because you took a risk. Support systems do fall apart, and I think that is a big reason why a lot of us don't want to risk the anxiety and mental anguish to bother with those attachments. Just because your support system momentarily fell apart doesn't mean that you did. You are sitll here, 8 days down, only 4 to go! Your system will be back up and running-- your T will be back, as will your best friend. I hope that your husband's cycle ends soon. As for you, you said you used to be self-sufficient-- well, you still are! Just because you are allowing others to support you doesn't mean you aren't self-sufficient-- in fact, you have proved that you are probably more so than before-- because you allowed yourself to have supports and now they are gone for a little while-- but somehow, you were able to draw upon whatever you have taken from those supports and use them to hang in there during this difficult time. I bet T will be really proud!