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My chairperson wants someone in-house to teach these workshops. Since I have a background and teach other related manual techniques, I’ve been asked to pursue the training and sit for the NCBTMB exam ASAP. I am not worried about my manual skills and ability to give a massage. I’m worried about my ability to chill out and be comfortable with others practicing on me. This type of learning environment was very stressful for me to deal with in undergraduate school. The MT courses are going to involve a lot more contact and I am not sure I am going to be able to handle it. I’ve had one professional full body massage and although the physical sensations were not painful, the emotions and mental noise it created quickly overwhelmed me. I was incredibly uncomfortable during the session.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">chaotic, I don't understand what part of what you wrote above requires that others give you a massage. Is it the workshops you have been asked to give for your majors? Is it for the NCBTMB (what is that?) exam that you must be touched? For the workshops, why not just bring in a "model" to be the one being touched? Just like in a figure painting class, the instructor doesn't pose nude, he/she invites models to the class for that. Could you enlist a couple of student models (hungry students will work for low pay!) to help you with this? Of course, this might possibly work at the workshop, but if you have to receive massages as part of that exam, then you probably couldn't use models. However, if that is the case, seeing how uncomfortable this makes you, you might not want to get this credential.

I really don't think anyone should be asked to do something that makes them physically uncomfortable as part of their job, unless it is written into the job description when you start work. I think if you are required to receive a massage for either the workshop or the exam, and they won't allow you to use models, you should say no. You definitely shouldn't be doing something that might make you "publically flip out." JMO.

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I am scheduled to see my T once before the 1st course starts, but I need to commit and register before then.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I think this merits a call to your T. You could tell her an important issue has come up and you would like an extra session (or at least a phone session). That's what T's are for (among other things!)--to help us with these life issues.

Good luck. Don't do it if it makes you uncomfortable.