Just jumping in thinking this might or might not be helpful
I would have had strong feelings about stories or real events of people being sexually abused but it is not what you would think or expect, it's a tangled mess of negative stuff that is coming from a deep wound being reopened , rather than an emotional flashback for me. ( I have the flashbacks too but they are also a tangled mess of feelings but in a different way) I do now have words to describe these things but prefer not to post details on the forums. If it would be helpful to you, I am happy to pm

Although I will say that I was always desperate to compare with others as I sought validation and wanted so bad to be relatable and not the liar I always felt I was. But we are all different, our experiences won't be exactly the same and we won't react exactly the same either.

Like you, I often felt that my therapist was missing things, not prodding enough etc. But what I've realised is that therapy is like a circle that we go around and each new trip around we both have more insight and more trust. We are both understanding and discovering more as we revisit each part that we naturally come back around to. I had to learn to trust the process instead of being devastated that she wasn't picking up on the things I was too afraid to completely spell out. I was drawn to my T from day 1 and as a result have always had very strong reactions to her, sometimes these are that I hate her and that she doesn't know what she is doing as a professional (I can devalue her to protect myself)

The only thing I would wonder about though, is what exactly was your T responding to when she said she was not a trauma therapist? If I was you I would want to know specifically why she is saying that. It seems crazy to me that all Ts would not be trauma informed at the least since most people in therapy will have some trauma?? It has never come up with my T. I got the impression that she covers a broad base and is trauma informed but is not a trauma specialist and that has not stopped me from making progress with her even though I have massive trust issues and did not progress at all with several other Ts