I mean, that's a fair assumption. I probably do not talk/write in any sort of feminine manner whatsoever. I blame having a father in construction with no separation between work/home humor haha. Y'all are lucky I just deleted some of the jokes I almost posted he's told me. I should be even more fked up than I am by several "mental health professionals." Every time I think about him I turn more psychopathic

If I were to commit grand theft auto, it would definitely be a NH statie charger. Go big or go home. If my timing were slightly off, I would definitely be under arrest right now (I mean, or dead, but no one gives a fk about that). But I saved a turtle so it's okay. Stopped drinking at 10pm, so don't worry it wasn't drunk driving. It was driving which probably shouldn't be done by someone going through a time of intensified BPD perhaps hypomania too, but at least I didn't spend all night smoking crack like SOME people who had commitments early this morning.

But yeah, I am trying SO FREAKING HARD to not take a trip to the liquor store and spend like every dollar in this house on vodka and moonshine cherries (haven't had those in a while and I am obsessed with the idea of getting those again). I feel incredibly sped up. Who tf feels like they shot meth when the only thing they did was drink like 3/4 liter of vodka the night before. I know I'm still under 30 and hangovers aren't bad enough to be a deterrent, but even when I was like 20 I knew women my age at that point that wouldn't feel abso-fking-lutely fantastic after having 10 shots the day/night before. I don't think I'm human. 80% sure I'm an alien transplant sent to study. Going to report there should be no interest in coming here at least until humans turn into at least half robots. I think the leader would get offended that our presence is a conspiracy theory made by people that think the Earth is flat, and none of us want to be exposed to that sort of "logic" anymore than needed. I'm going fking insane seeing a cult worship world's largest Cheeto and trying to convince others the idea of hush money isn't illegal but totally ignoring the fact that falsifying business records totally is.

I mean, I think if I recommended a place for aliens to go here, it would definitely be NYC. Straight up tell them to ask for directions to a nice pub and offer to take them. Impress them with the money they earned from unethically bringing the John Galt motor over before society deserved it. $$$ though. And then make them wonder what fking alcoholic goes to a bar and SPENDS THE RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF MONEY throwing back as many shots of tequila as the bartender will let them WITH OTHER PEOPLE. And then go back to their place, drink more, and provide them with the greatest sex they've ever experienced. I'd tell only the fun extraterrestrials to come though until a thoursand or so years after like 20 H bombs go off at once, which I predict will happen in the next 20 years.

I think I need to run for president. Late start? Yeah. But with a criminal record it might be the only job I can get and do well at. Get my own worshippers and the unwritten law is that every state has to have their best musicians who can't write their own ******* songs be in a Buzzcocks cover band.