How do you wake up to this same old reality , same people, same thing always…. Well a voice in me tells: It’s up for you to change, cos nothing will miraculously change.. it is true yet I‘m deeply deeply sad, everything is seen through the lens of grief.. (No I didn’t loose anyone) Yet the Grief paints everything in the color of grief.. which is dark, grey maybe?! I don’t know..

If someone is would ask me.. Do you like being alive? Being a human being? No absolutely Not..

Yet , something in me wants No brain fog, No gut issues No chronic fatigue, So I‘m disciplined.. that’s all what keeps me moving. There aren’t many people I like, or care about.. except for my husband and my mom..

I left my home country and here I am, it always feels like exhile