I go home from the psych ward tomorrow. Then it'll be a month-long wait to get into my treatment center of choice. However, I'm deeply depressed right now, as I'm afraid I've made the wrong decision. I thought I could go a month at home without relapsing, but now I'm afraid. I'm thinking about going to meetings but I'm too avoidant to try it on my own. I feel like I can't stay here or in any of the other options that were presented to me, but neither can I go home. I'm trapped with no way out. I absolutely hate myself.