I'm sorry BB it sucks that you've been traumatized when you just wanted to feel better.. Don't give up, keep making things work - I'd say stay away from THC (Even I rarely take edibles - If I do, it's an extremely low dose, like 2mg). Your hopefully bf is understanding of your situation (Even though he smokes a lot of weed).

I'm just a psychonaut - But imagine here, with all these things.. I wish I had friends IRL, and would rather be without, to have a proper life instead. But RN it isn't too bad, it's the best really.. There's possibilities..

I made my own fun in the past.. I was in a horrible situation.. It led to a good place.. One of the best places.. Because my mind is healed. I wouldn't go back to the mania and insanity - I'll be 30 eventually, and then I'll just have experience..

But now I just love learning.. I want my mind to be in the best possible state - And it's okay if we go into weird realms that don't make any sense.. No one's reality has more value than any other's - We all have our own unique realities.