So I'm not depressed but I decided I'm never going to the aliter program or community college due to paranoia/agoraphobia. So I wait till I can pay for an online art school. We are looking for a place with a balcony. I've come to the realization that my anxiety is never going to get better. I've gotten better about staying by myself inside I'm not couch locked when alone anymore. I will always think I'll be killed if by myself. My pdoc makes me go to the office 1x a month that's the only time I'm in public. I'm not optimistic that my Service Dog will help me. I'm trying to get a place that I can be okay staying alone, take my dogs out, and am not afraid to walk to the store. My trust in people is non-existent. I'm not independent, I won't even let matinance in if alone. This is in the for front because Victoria is getting a hotel in a week with a girl she met online. My mind is flying about how this person is going to hurt her. Nowhere is safe for me. I need to get okay with taking the dogs out because my husband will eventually have to stay at the hospital or help someone and Victoria is moving.

Victoria is dropping out of college. She's going to concentrate on art and writing building a career in one of those fields. H isn't happy but she's only 22. If she doesn't do it now then when.