You seem to take responsibility for a lot that you are not really responsible for. That's like putting a load of rocks on your back that you really have no obligation to carry. Plus it saps your energy to no good end. It's like you think you have to make everything alright for everyone. If that's your goal, you can look forward to a lot of failure. Wanting to make everyone happy does not make you a good person. It makes you foolish. You are wanting the impossible.

Your husband is emotionally immature. That's a reasonable conclusion for me to draw when you say your husband was ready to leap from a balcony because your family were getting on his nerves. It does sound like you have a family that would get on anyone's nerves. But threatening suicide over it is immature and manipulative. You cannot control your husband's depression and suicidal thinking. You're not responsible for his unhappiness.

You do have a responsibility to work with your husband to not be over-involved with your family. He is your immediate family now and your first priority. Saying you're "enmeshed with family" is not a good excuse to not set reasonable boundaries between them and you. I hope the counselor can help you see where you may need to distance yourself from Mom and Sis.

You need to ask yourself why your family has so much power in your life. Often it has to do with money. Your husband and you are starting out and probably don't have much materially. Your mom probably is more established and can give to you. Maybe she pays for the family trips you go on. Ask yourself if you depend on her financially in any way. If the answer is "no," then that makes things easier. Then it's just a case of you being too much in the habit of revolving your life around your mother. That's a habit you can break. Unfortunately, your mom will want to punish you for becoming independent. She will want you to feel guilty that she is not happy. She's had years to brainwash you into thinking that you have a responsibility to please her, no matter what. You don't.

Your problems are deep-seated and serious. I don't think divorce would solve everything either. Stick with the counseling, and see how you might change your approach to relationships . . . with family and with spouse.

I'll bet your husband came from a very troubled family himself. Clearly he has no idea about how to manage his relationships with others, like dealing with in-laws. That has its roots in how he was raised by whoever raised him. Something was very wrong on that front. Give that some thought.