it took me many many years to find ways to cope with my guilt over my mom's and my pets' deaths. i was only able to put the mom one on the back burner because i know she would not want me to be so miserable for so long. recently however, i made the mistake of sharing a bit of what happened to a coworker. he said 'so you killed your mom'. he was trying to make a joke. i didn't kill her, just wish i had made different choices which might have helped her live longer. with his one comment though, i was sent reeling again. i know eventually i will be able to cope again but some days it's hard. i quit my job (not because of this) so i hope i will never see that coworker again.