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chaotic13 said:
I am not worried about giving a patient a massage.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I know, it's being touched that worries you, and I think it is completely understandable. I was suggesting you bring the models along to your workshop so that the students could practice on them instead of on you. That way they can give massage to neutrals; instead of using you as their model, they can use the models you brought along. Make sense? You would still be giving massages, and you could use the models or the other students. Would it be permissible?

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The school I am looking at appears to have peer laboratory sessions where new skills are taught and practiced on each other

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">This would be the place for you to use your models, so that you are not used for practice. It seems like they might be accommodating if you explained ahead of time that you are touch-averse. It's almost like it is a handicap of sorts, and they would certainly make accommodations for people with other sorts of handicaps, I would think.

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I know I am likely making a big deal out of nothing,

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">You're not making a big deal about nothing. Why do you say that? This is a big deal--a touch-averse person being asked to let strangers touch her body.

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Sunrise I thought about calling my T but I don't want her to deal with me in this state.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I wish you could reach out to your T for this. I bet she would be very understanding and help you deal with this issue.

I'm so sorry you have this dilemma. You know your own limits best. If you think you can do this, go for it. If you think it is too traumatizing (or re-traumatizing) right now, hold back. Good luck!