Quote:
Originally Posted by Blueberrybook
Ugh, is it bad to be jealous of those of you who are hypomanic? It makes me want to stop taking Seroquel, but if I do that, I don't sleep, and I really don't function well on too little sleep. And my sex drive is nonexistent, probably thanks to psych meds  The past few years when I've gotten hypomanic, I don't really get to enjoy it, it will last a few days (not weeks or months like some of you) and just spiral into full-blown mania and shortly after that, psychosis and then it's back to the psych hospital and, ugh, who really wants that?!
So I have to conclude foregoing Seroquel to enjoy a few days of hypomania (where I'm likely to blow the budget big time which really makes H mad to the point of threatening divorce) just isn't worth it for me, which just doesn't seem fair with stupid bipolar, and I'll get the flipside depression for weeks and months on end which isn't fun at all  I really hate the way bipolar manifests in me. Not fair at all.
IDK why I'm jealous of hypomania, right now I'm doing fine emotionally, level I guess is how I'd describe my mood, which is good in bipolar, I guess. It seems to be what my pdoc wants anyway. Sorry for the vent. |
You can have some of my sex drive if you want. Lol. I have TOO much. It's TERRIBLE. I'm on seroquel too. It helps me sleep for a couple of hours, until it wears off. Then I wake up. I asked my psychiatrist once about the XR, thinking that would help me sleep better, and he told me the XR doesn't work for whatever reason.
I'm lucky where I've never been a big spender while hypo. I hate shopping. 😒 Ugh. Our daughter is the same way. And if I DO spend money it's on small things, like cards for people.
Speaking of cards, I still have to get my psychiatrist a goodbye card! 😭 😭 😭 😭 I don't want him to leave! I've grown quite fond of him. He's the best psychiatrist I've ever had. This new guy better not be an asshat. If he wants to wean me off diazepam I'm saying no. Hell no. I'll get someone else to fill it for me. I'll FIND someone!
It's interesting how differently bipolar manifests in people. Last time I started out hypo, then it quickly accelerated to mania and psychosis and rage, but it wasn't all bad. I had an intense spiritual experience where I literally felt myself become one with the world around me and could see the universe moving in the sky and believed I had control of it. I've NEVER felt more euphoric! Holy **** man.
Anyway, sorry I'm rambling. My thoughts are all over the place right now. I don't even know what my original point was.
(((Hugs)))