@Victoria'smom- maybe you could write a version of what's going on that explains your struggling, but are safe and can refrain from immediately dangerous self-destructive behavior and bring that in, also mentioning it's hard to talk about these things honestly out loud on the spot with them. I think it's important your pdoc know things aren't great especially because your meds got messed up and things in that area need to be managed better. Hopefully things will get better once you're back on the meds though. I know your life is pretty stressful right now too so we both know it's not realistic to say you'll feel happy as a clam when it all gets back in your system, but I bet it's going to be easier to handle things without unhealthy behaviors.

@Blueberrybook-definitely not bad to be jealous of people with a euphoric hypomania. Stuff is like a cocaine high that lasts days/weeks/sometimes even months. Definitely has an addictive quality to it. I'm not going to lie, I like my highs too (little too much probably). My hypomanias also quickly turn into mania, usually of a dysphoric/mixed kind so that's always fun. I've realized hypomania is not something I really want to chase though because when it's mild, feels good, and people fking love talking to my upbeat, charismatic, energetic version of myself, it's hard to recognize it as a problem and there definitely are going to be some decisions I'm going to regret out of it even before it gets to the next level and turns dangerous. I'm already impulsive enough, don't need to add fuel to the fire

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As for myself, I get to have the joy of seeing my T in an hour (haha, totally not looking forward to it especially because they're doing some crazy construction on the road to get there that both the sidewalk and 1 out of 2 lanes of traffic are closed so hopefully won't get hit or flipped off. I wouldn't mind being hit, but if I get flipped off, honked at, and cussed out, therapy will be far from productive). I'm sleeping like 5 hours a night and not tired. That's good for me compared to last year when that was almost what I got in a week, but that's also not a heck of a lot so not sure if I should be on alert for elevation?