I'm supposed to see my therapist today at 8AM. Thinking about canceling. I don't really feel like talking to her and hearing about my out of whack hormones again and how I need to make an appointment to see my moronic GP who is completely clueless and put a bipolar on phentermine of all meds 😒. Ugh. But on the other hand an iced soy sugar free caramel latte sounds really good, though it's kind of chilly out so I'll probably get it hot. I don't know. I don't trust my therapist. She likes committing me and having me med monitored. I just won't talk. I'm fine as long as I don't start talking. I'm pretty good at keeping my cool. When I was a drunkard I was really good at hiding it.

I went to bed at 11pm again and got up at 1am. Wide awake right now, but wrote in my journal (lots of secrets) and took a shower so I'm squeaky clean and to make him happy 😊 (because I'm all about making the GOD OF LOVE ❤️ happy right now) I took 100mg of seroquel to try and get sleepy, but it didn't work, and my allergies are really bothering me (itchy eyes, sneezing, runny nose) so I took a zyrtec since benadryl was making me anxious, and now it's 4:30am and I'm just laying in bed attempting a rest period before my appointment (that I want to go to yet I don't want to go to because I want a coffee but I don't trust my therapist. In fact, I don't trust her SO MUCH I think I'm actually going to tell her that. Might as well be honest I guess).

Oh. I'm listening to Sleep Token. It's so beautiful I started crying before! Brought me to tears 😢 . Seriously.