People tell me I am intelligent, though I am a big dummy, and I keep falling for it. I rid myself of my mum's family via restraining orders and electronic locks on the doors. I have a Hospice home health nurse here around the clock now. They send them away if they show up.

Last night, my mum's oldest half-sister called me on my cellphone. I don't see many people now, so I am lonely to the maximum degree. The caller ID identified her out of hope for no other reason. I answered, and she was on one of her rants at me. I react to these as I did when I was in a firefight in the military.

I just sat there and numbly took it, but it was the usual junk.

1. I have no right to exist.
2. Mum should have driven to Canada and had me aborted from Germany somehow.
3. I am just like my father and was destined to be worthless.
4. The whole universe shed a tear when I entered into it.
5. The only reason I ever had any success was because of fate and luck.
6. I am wasting my time with my core beliefs as they are made up. Which is proof positive of how dimwitted I am.

It went on for about a half hour, and I just listened. Engaging her in an argumentative sense would make it worse. I could have hung up the phone, but for some reason, I just didn't. She is now in violation of the restraining order if I call and report it, and one of the Manchurian Candidates who was here on duty for nursing heard a great deal of it.

Of course, there would be phone records, and she would be jailed for seventy-two hours. She is now eighty-four, which makes me not want to throw that card. The remaining of Mum's side of the family is something. I guess blocking her phone calls will be next.

I don't know what I ever did to these people to get attacked in such a manner. I took care of her husband while he was home, dying from bone cancer with all kinds of complications from Type I diabetes. It is getting to where I dread waking up in the morning. I am not mad; I am just stuck with a profound sadness.












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