I'm agitated as fukk. Found out when my current psychiatrist leaves I have a choice between seeing two POS psychiatrists. I've seen both before. I chose the lesser of the two evils. Got to hear the typical talk of hormones and how I should make an appointment to see my GP. What the fukk is my stupid GP going to do? Put me on birth control? I'm a 41 year old woman and I've been on numerous hormonal birth controls in the past and regardless of the type they all turned me into a raging POS bytch. My dumb GP would probably just look at my file and tell me to see my psychiatrist.

I feel really bad because my therapist lectured me about how my husband was just setting his boundaries, etc., and now I'm all ashamed of myself and STILL sexually frustrated. 😡

And I feel even worse because I yelled at one of our cats and scared our other cat because I never yell and I'm just so frustrated and I have to go to the store to buy tea and a couple of other things but I don't feel like it though the walk would be nice because it's not too hot out but I just want to sit here and type out my secrets in my journal but I'd be able to see ducks and I love ducks.

I'm going to start crying in about five seconds. I'm pissed, sexually frustrated, agitated, ashamed, freaking out about my psychiatrist leaving, and my therapist just made me feel worse. I KNEW there was something wrong with me physically. I'm some sort of sex freak. I feel as though I can't help or control myself though. It's OVERWHELMING. It's INTOLERABLE. It's making me agitated. And I'm lonely.

I think I'm going to attempt a rest period.