Even though you don’t feel abused, you still were. It’s abuse. I understand it’s a scary word. I agree. But sometimes scary words might stop us from doing bad things. If you don’t label it what it is, you might not feel urgency to stop.

Therapist can suggest something like whatever might work in your circumstances. But if you can’t have it now try few things. Count till ten. Put a child in a play pen where they are safe and step out. Have a babysitter once a week or how often you need a break.