Hi Illuminator,

Thanks for your response. I would say these are the main things I'm struggling with:

- I doubt myself a lot and I find it difficult to go about life without feeling like I'm doing it wrong or I should be doing it better. Getting myself to feel more reassured tends to lead to directly comparing myself to those around me and reasoning that I'm doing better in X. But I know this is a horrible way to go about it, and I want to feel ok about myself independently of those around me...

- Even when I notice a problem about myself, I lack the motivation or initiative to actually go fix it. I have historically spent a lot of time just thinking things through and perhaps ruminating by myself in a diary, and I haven't genuinely opened up to anyone other than my last boyfriend. I wonder if posting on an online forum is any better than just writing to myself if I'm not likely to manifest some crazy "aha!" moment from this and put things into motion. I like to think that if I surround myself with people who inspire me to become a better person it will come more naturally.

- I'm not really sure what to look forward to in life. I'm currently just getting through one step at a time, but I don't have an ultimate goal or want to work towards. Even if I had a goal, do I have enough of a growth mindset to relentlessly pursue it?

In the end my hopes are that I will slowly feel more comfortable in my own skin with time, and realize that I can do whatever I want to do.