My trans daughter married her trans spouse a bit over two years ago. Both are a bit neurodivergent but they are happy and healthy and entirely supportive of each other.

Your daughter is an adult. She sounds smart and compassionate. I understand the process of regrouping your thinking about who your daughter is. Been there. Done that. But my husband and I knew our part in this was simply to be loving and supportive. Honestly, I can hardly think of her in any other way now.

I hope your wife can learn more and reach a place of being supportive. To do otherwise will drive a wedge that could be irreparable.

I’d be more concerned about the schizophrenia but it sounds like they are finding a way of managing. It’s not unusual for a spouse to assist a partner who has medical or other issues. I spent 35 years helping my husband with his complicated medical condition and multitude of medications. Yes, at times I was in caretaking mode, but it wasn’t constantly and even when it was a large part of what I did, I did so out of love and support.

What helped our family were lots of conversations about all of the things we just needed to understand better. My daughter and her spouse are always willing to have these very open discussions and we have all learned from each other.