I'm so sorry that you lost so many who were close to you!

I went through a period during which I would imagine the "end" of individual things. For example, I'd see a brand new car, and then I'd picture how it would look in 50 years or so, beat up, rusted, in a junkyard.

I'd do this with people, too, usually those folks who exuded charm, confidence and vibrant good looks. I did not do this in a vindictive or jealous way. It was just a vision I'd get that this moment of reality was merely temporary and that they'd suffer the same fate as all of those before us.

There was an X Files show about a man who could envision the time and manner of death of everyone he met. (And I think his day job was life insurance salesman.) That sort of rubbed off on me. I've also imagined my own death, and even wrote an obituary for myself.