I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have taken every psych med since 1988, 5 ECT trials (17 treatments in 1992 which DESTROYED my energy and nothing has helped it ever since including extensive exercise) all with 99.9% no relief. I've been diagnosed with agitated depression (within the bipolar spectrum), acute anxiety, bipolar (but I don't get manic), dissociated in my teens/20s/30s, 2 personality disorders, OCD and possibly asbergers.I haven't felt like myself in 45 yrs. And been on disability most of my life.

My Dr just ordered caplyta for me this week and my insurance covers it (I have Medicare and Humana for meds) but it's $700! The pharmacist said caplyta costs $17,000! I contacted caplyta maker and asked if I could get a discount and they said "maybe if I get a voucher from my Dr". I want to take it REALLY bad because my Dr said it will help me. I've been extremely sick since he started me on prozac 8 mths ago - all of my 6-7 symptoms are very severe and it gave me insomnia. Dr stopped prozac 6 mths ago and nothing has changed at all! I was sick before prozac but not nearly this sick!

I don't know what to tell you.It seems like you know yourself pretty well which is a good thing (I've had major problems with that ever since I dissociated at 13 yrs old). How long have you been sick? How many Drs have you seen? (I've seen tons of Drs between Philly and Baltimore the last 45 yrs and all they did was experiment with me and never cared about me and I can't stand it anymore.)

My present young Dr cares about me and is very bright and says he wants to help but he's run out of ideas I think. And he constantly changes his mind about what to do. In December he gave me tests and said my testosterone and adrenal levels were high and said I needed to see an endocrinologist badly and he added that he couldn't help me anymore so he's been hesitant to do anything. It took me 4 mths to see an Endo and she didn't get back to me after 2 mths with my lab results and just found out this week that all my labs were OK.

My experience is that the mental health field doesn't work one bit! I asked a top Dr at Johns Hopkins how much she knew about mood disorders and she said "Not much. Maybe in 10 yrs we'll know more". I can't wait 10 yrs! I OD'ed in 1988 and spent a mth in a lousy local hospital and the staff and Dr were incompetent and when I was discharged the Dr gave me an ACT team which came out to my house once a month and they were the most uneducated group of "nurses" I've ever come across - they wouldn't say anything to me or else they pushed me around so I told the Director after 6 mths that I was quitting! I've also been to dozens of day programs since 1990 and they NEVER helped. The people who run those place don't try and help anyone! They expect the patients to help each other (which is like the blind leading the blind) and they expect you to pull yourself together and I can't do that!

Hang in there, man. I'm really pulling for you because I can really relate to you very well. i wish you nothing but good health.