I don't exactly know "how long I've been sick." When I was in elementary school, if I saw anyone they probably would've labeled me with ODD even if I was just an emotional person who could think for myself. I've been probably a little more anxious than the average person for as long as I could remember. Around 11 is when the shyt hit the fan and the trauma effects started setting in and the anxiety from intensified trauma got worse. 16 is when the depression hit and steadily got worse over the next year or two and I hit psychosis (this is the point I started frequently using drugs). I didn't have my first manic episode until I was 17. So really it depends on your definition of "sick."

I do not remember how many providers I've seen. Doctors (including IP) probably a dozen, and more than twice as many APRNs. High turnover rate at our state's community mental health centers which I have gone to four of.

I think most of my issues now are BPD and PTSD stuff. Even though I'm not medicated for the bipolar, things have actually settled down a bit since stopping--though now I realize what I was confusing for rapid cycling BD symptoms were probably BPD stuff and I've read that meds make BPD worse. At this point I'm favoring the idea of being med free until I see early warning signs of manic/mixed episodes and then use hardcore PRNs, leave the depression untreated because that just sucks and I don't have the impulsivity aspect so it's not like I'm going to do a lot of damage. Actually think I'm less impulsive in pure depression because I don't have the energy or motivation to do anything.