Has it ever been done to you? Do you see a pattern of it? Here's how it happens.

Step 1: Order me to go do something before I've had the chance to do it of my own accord. (Example, telling me to wash the dishes before the meal is even over, and everybody is still eating.) Remind me daily to do things that I DON'T have a history of forgetting to do. (Example, telling me not to forget to take medicine that it's not time for yet, and I haven't been forgetting to take.)

Step 2: Tell me exactly HOW to do something, step by step, not because there is anything wrong with my chosen method, but if it differs from yours, it's wrong. Bonus points for not even waiting to see what my chosen method is before jumping in to make sure I'm doing it "right."

Step 3: Despite steps 1 and 2 being completely unnecessary, then going around complaining loudly to me AND to everyone else that I have to be told every move to make, I'd never know to do XYZ unless you stayed on top of me, I'd forget my head if it weren't attached, and other such criticisms.

Sound familiar to you?

I got this kind of treatment from both my mother and my ex-husband, and to some extent from my now and forever husband, although that's improved. He used to call me awake for appointments, five or ten minutes before my alarm would have gone off, without trusting that I knew enough to set an alarm. That finally changed, but not easily.

Sometimes it makes me wonder if people just think I'm stupid. Or are they just THAT desperate to feel needed and/or superior?

And does this particular tactic have a name?