@TheGal I just want to say that I appreciate you here. You gave me really helpful advice on my first post, and that advice has helped to put me on a path of healing.

I’ve dealt with depression in different forms since I was a teenager. I denied it for yrs in a previous relationship, and literally just shut off my emotions and felt dead inside. That was no way to live. Now, I tend to be at the opposite end of depression with crying and hopelessness and anguish and despair. This is no way to live. But I also want to understand and process my emotions now and strive to overcome pain. Is there anything that brings you joy or makes you feel at peace? I like being in nature. I like listening to music. I also like to make checklists on my phone for tasks I want to accomplish. The task can be mundane but necessary like cleaning, or soothing like taking a walk in nature. Doing that gives me direction so I don’t just sit around and stew in my sadness all the time. And when I check things off I feel a small sense of accomplishment.