I don't know how this works, and if im even in the right place, but my wife insists that I do this. its all confusing to me , as I am not good with technology but apparently this may help.

I have constant thoughts of dying, wishing something would happen but im too scared not to die. and still am perfectly fine physically not, so i fear not being able to die and rather ending up disabled in some way im too weak to try kill myself, or not brave enough but im slowly building the gall because my life has turned to ****. everyone thinks im a hero but my wife absolutely hates me, my thoughts are constantly negative about myself, im a alcoholic and i want to get it done while my daughter is still young, so that she doesn't have too many memories of me.

ive never been physically abusive but my wife claims me to have been verbally abusive, which I deny. her main issue is that i am not much of a man though, useless. I motivate, educate and support my daughter emotionally and financially as much as i can but i am claimed to be an absent father, although I am over weekends when im hungover.

there is so much more but I dont even know what this is so im just going to pres send and see