I am sorry you are going through this. Your T sounds a bit like mine at first. My Ts memory is not good and she does not tend to remember things but she does take a lot of notes and will look a bit panicked at first if she doesn't remember something I've brought back up. She will let me remind her or if I am struggling to do so she will go back into her notes to get onto my wavelength. So it helps to know that she does care and does try, but she simply has a bad memory. At first I found it a little hard that she could forget things but I liked her enough to accept it and understand that nobody is perfect. She still cares and I guess that is the difference and your T must not care if she doesn't do any of those things to help with her memory.
I'd be very interested to read her email, please feel free to send it to me and I'll give my thoughts on it