Do you ever have on going arguments in your head? That never get resolved and keep going on and on and on? I do, the one i have now is about my ex's daughters. When she broke up with me the youngest was in alaska and the oldest was living with us but was at a concert with her boyfriend. So i told my ex i needed to be left alone. Meaning dont let her call me and all that. I needed to heal and not be brought back to such stinging emotional times constantly. Now though i feel a lot better. Better than before we broke up. The question or worry i have is do i make contact with either of her daughters? They didnt break up with me. However so many questions flood into my head then. I mean i told the ex i needed to be alone but also they havent contacted me so maybe they are happy i am gone?(Im a depressed person who has many annoying traits) I can live with that i just feel guilty that they didnt have a chance to say bye to me if they wanted to. I dont know if i could have a relationship as im paranoid. Id worry they were telling their mom all the gossip about me. On the other hand thats kinda egotistical aint it? Why would she care? Shes moved on and is happy with some other guy. Maybe she would be mad at them for communicating with me then? Doubt it. So the main thing would be do they even care? I wasnt their father nor did i EVER act like one. On many levels that was a good thing. On others though, i think they probably resented me from taking up so much of their moms time. On the other hand isnt that more their moms fault than mine? I listened to them or at least tried. Its hard for me to listen to more than a couple hours about how timmy was mean and other drama. I did try though. Sometimes i get the urge to send an email yanno? But i think i would be hurt if they ignored it or worse if they called and wanted to do stuff all the time(i have social anxiety). It would be massively uncomfortable to have them visit me when i am living at my parents house. They probably dont even want to. But sheesh i feel like im being a jerk if i just vanish out of their lives yanno? So do i just stay with feeling guilty or do i make contact and lose all control of the situation? Im used to feeling guilty so thats why i havent acted yet if i want to or need to or should or shouldnt. I lived with the youngest from age 11-19 and the oldest off and on from 14-23. I care about them but im also afraid. Just curious what peoples opinions are. I think my biggest mistake was telling their mom, my ex, that i needed to be left alone. If i hadnt said that then no contact would be easy to read what that meant. Its been a little more than 3 months.