Sometimes it helps to think of just one thing that you are OK at...like if you have good taste in music. So, that would be one thing. Focus on that for a little while. If you can think of one more thing, great! So, you'll know that you don't COMPLETELY suck. And I'm sure that you don't. It does sound like your self esteem needs some work, but that's OK.

It's hard to get to know yourself and to learn to care about yourself and to be kind to yourself. And it's confusing as ...heck.

So, what did you mean by this, "so none of my friends, family know about how i feel and the stuff i do." What stuff do you do?

Take care,

Slippers