Hi jeka
Welcome to PC. I am sorry things have been going so badly for you. Without support, things just seem so much more difficult. You stated you have medical insurance, but you can't go to a doctor. Only a psychiatrist and/or some therapists could assess your symptoms for a proper diagnosis. Are there any county clinics in your area that accept reduced fee/sliding scale fee payments?
Please keep us updated and don't hesitate to PM me if you have any questions or concerns

Dee