One thing that has helped me in my last ten years of therapy has been answering my outstanding questions. Like, why have i never found "the one"? Which is probably a common question, but had a very specific answer which, even though it was really messed up, comforts me.

My 2nd question was, geez what is it that everyone seems to know except me? That was specific to me and my role in the extended family, and again involved accepting ugly truths and harsh reality. But then the puzzle pieces of my life began to fit together - the way people treated me, the supposedly random things they said werent so random anymore, they made perfect sense.

You have identified here a couple of points in your life where things took a bad turn. Can you see how, if you had had some decent support, from a friend or an adult, that they could have turned out differently?

For instance, a not so minor one for me - an 8th grade classmate - my best friend actually - kept telling me to read Tess of the D'Ubervilles, but i confused it with The Hound of the Baskervilles, and just said i dont like mysteries. Whereas it was a very important book for ignorant young women, being a book about an ignorant young woman.