No. That's fine you don't want meds. Husband is the same way (he also has valid reasons). I wish I didn't have to take a ridiculous amount of meds, but fear without my AP right now I would be completely manic and psychotic.
But yeah. It's ridiculous how much things are these days with inflation. We spend an insane amount on groceries these days! Much more than we used to spend. I mean, a small can of PUMPKIN is like two dollars! Jeez Louise.
Are you on SSDI? I am. But luckily Husband works full-time and makes a decent amount so we're okay.
Things are awkward with my parents too. I try to avoid them as much as possible because they trigger me so. We have opposite views on everything and my mom scares me. A lot. Before I moved out at the age of 21 I was gaslit and verbally abused a lot, and I'm 41 (will be 42 in August) and it still has left a scar unfortunately. A scar that kind of reopens everytime I'm with them. I tend to completely shut down and not say a word.
I feel bad because I know they want to get to know Daughter, but things are just TOO painful for me. My therapist recommended I write a letter or a text to my mom expressing my feelings. I did that, but didn't send it (because the repercussions would be TERRIBLE) and it helped me a little. I read it to Huaband and Daughter and had my therapist read it. Maybe you could try writing a letter or a text to your dad expressing your feelings? You don't have to give it or send it to him. Sometimes it helps just to get the feels down.
Just an idea.
Do you have a therapist?