Think about yourself and your own agenda. Are you working on whatever it is? If you're working on it, you're working on it and doing the best you can and have to remember that change is hard and slow (especially if it's about being shy or something like that that is part of your character and not necessarily a "flaw"/failure). If you aren't working on it, it's probably because it isn't that important to you. I mean, I think you should be playing first chair in a chamber group as well as getting high marks in school, but what do I know??? Just because it would be "nice" if you did those things, doesn't mean it fits into the scheme of your life and how you want to live it.

So, immediately thank people when they say something, for "caring to comment," but don't give them your power over your life; they don't get to decide if things are a good idea or not for you, only you do. But letting people know they're "heard" is always good but think of what other people say as a "gift" they have given you of themselves/their thoughts and like any gift, you can take it and do whatever you want with it? If you don't want/need it, you can throw it away! Just thank them for their opinion and look at what they say and see if you want to "do" anything with it?

Some comments you can take the sting out of by seeing how useless they are? Someone saying something like, "you should be less shy. . . " that's pretty meaningless? That's easy to just say, "Yes, I should!" and so much for that conversation. But always remember that anything that hurts you is not helpful criticism; criticism is to help, not to hurt/punish. Those who put their problems over on us are not giving us justifiable criticism, no matter what they say. The fact that you take it on, because you have a "weak" spot there (I had a boss humiliate me in public because I was having trouble articulating what I wanted to say well so he could understand and so in a sense he was making fun of me) does not mean it's justifiable! Separate out yourself from what's being said and make sure it's something "useful" to you! Telling you something you already know isn't real helpful so merely look to see if there's anything new in how it's said to help you understand what you're doing better? It's all just information! You don't get upset when your maths teacher corrects a problem do you? Same thing and if it's really someone trying to help you, treat it the same way, as valuable info. But if it isn't done well or hurts or isn't in a format you can use, just thank the other person and then "forget" it, it doesn't apply to you. Yes a student learns but a teacher has to teach in a way that that student can learn!