You don’t need to apologize for venting, that’s what this place is for. Maybe things are so awkward with your dad because your depression scares him. A compassionate parent would show concern for that and show emotional support. I’m sorry that you don’t have that with your father. Do you have a better relationship with your siblings? I know what it feels like to be triggered, and I almost always choose to be alone when that happens, in case I get emotional.