So she called me yesterday -- a weekend when we usually don't talk -- because she saw something in her review that annoyed her. So, she has been pushing for the "exceeds expectations" and I told her that won't happen. But I can't understand why she wants it because it will make no difference to her pay. But she tells me she wants it because she did a lot of extra work this year.

So the manager told her she was going to go in and add some additional material. Now, my friend thought it would be something good. But, it was mostly adding the incident where the co worker thought my friend was drunk, captured in way that... even though there is no evidence that my friend was drunk they said it like it was my friend's lack of professionalism that caused the co worker to think that. So her fault no matter what.

This says to me it is a warning sign. Push for exceeds and we will bring this incident up.

When the incident happened I told her to go to a higher level in HR (which is not connected to my agency) and tell them her side of the story and seek their advice on what to do. So, that, at the very least, her side would be recorded in an objective forum. I told her that even if she didn't fight it... disputing it someplace on the record where they were not prejudiced against her would be key if they kept trying to use it against her.

She didn't do so. To me this is evidence it is true.

No matter.... I told her she needs to accept she isn't going to be getting jobs and or getting promotions ever and we need to work on how to survive until retirement. I have told her to stop doing the extra work even though it will mean more work for me. But she won't.

It is frustrating. I do wonder if she is going to make it until retirement. She can't accept reality.