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I have been through a similar experience. The illness made me feel horrible physically and mentally. I did not trust anyone, including myself.
I don't know whats real and what's not.
It may not feel like it, but this is a good sign. You have some insight.
This reminded me of the confusion I often felt right before I crossed the threshold. Once I crossed, there wasn't a feeling or sensation. The bizarre thinking I once questioned suddenly felt normal and rational, but not to anyone else.
Medication and a persistent medical team that actually believed in me made a huge difference. I recovered.
It will take time to recover. Friends, family, clinicians, medication, hobbies etc... can be very helpful.
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Dx: Didgee Disorder
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