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CANDC · Jun 23, 2024 at 01:49 PM

Hi Ninetiesgrl13
I hear you. I have read about detachment. It may be easier if you both agree. It is like becoming roommates. If one person does not respect the new arrangement then it could be difficult.

I do not see how this would work without that, but if one person really does detach in their mind it could work if one is in a safe environment and your ex partner is not making your home into a place where they have a relationship with another person.
For that reason I think there need to be other agreements about having visitors or romantic encountners in their room. For a matter of privacy, I would put on a privacy lock to deter entry in your room when you are in there and possibly a lock so that no one can enter when you are not there. A lot depends on your current level of trust in your interactions.

Quote:

I also need to think of things to do by myself. Going on a walk, reading, and I was even considering going to the movies alone. Any tips/suggestions are appreciated.

I think one of the biggest problems is reinventing who you see yourself as. In a way you are planning to end the relationship as it was and there is grief in that. There is also the risk of slipping back into codependence.

Having a therapist could help you stay on track.

Yoga can really help bring comfort and calm the mind. There are also standing and sitting options with other videoes by this group.

Mindfulness can help to not react to the other person. Healthy Minds is a free app by the University of Wisconsin. Palouse Mindfulness is a resource of mindulness info and videos whether you just visit it or sign up for the 8 week course. There are also Zoom group meetings that can help stay connected to the Community there.

Are there any support groups for this type of detachment arrangement? That would be very helpful.

Sorry if I repeated something in this thread.

CANDC

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