@PHewson he is fully aware that I’m practicing detachment. He read the same codependency book that I did. His temperament is sad..We used to have great intimacy. Now we have none. I definitely don’t envision him getting scary and desperate about intimacy, he couldn’t hurt a fly. He even asks for hugs.

@CANDC I’ve never practiced detachment before. I don’t expect him to understand but it requires willpower on my part. Sometimes I just want to reach out and show affection. But I don’t want to let myself be emotionally vulnerable again by being intimate. Not unless he clearly puts time and effort into recovery. I fear he’ll relapse and trigger me to hate myself for letting him close to my heart again and make me resent him even more. Also, he has no interest to be with anyone else, and neither do I. I just don’t want to be emotionally and romantically involved with him when he’s using. We are like roommates now. Kinda like my last marriage..which is sad. It’s not like I want this but I can’t let myself stay affected and trapped by his addiction. I don’t know what to do with myself in the long run but I am practicing self care by keeping busy and reading and trying to not let anxiety affect me. And my therapist knows about all this and I’ll update her at our session in a few days. As far as support groups go, I’m not sure what else there is other than Al-Anon, which I’m attending already with his parents.

@SquarePegGuy Other than sharing meals we did go to the movies today with my kid. And we watch stuff on tv together (with a meal). I sense how depressed he is sometimes and I hate to completely shut him out of my life. And the thought of him losing his job or worse getting a DUI is the worst scenario. There is a lot to lose for sure.