I am sorry you are struggling. Sometimes (or rather often) we all want our families to be something they aren’t and will never be. It’s extremely hard. At some point we have to accept it and find human connection elsewhere. It’s hard to give up the idea of a happy family that will never happen. It’s quite depressing. I understand that

Oh i see about free spirit . When you first bought “no return” ticket I was concerned that it will be problematic and you mentioned that one sister is a “free spirit” and doesn’t like to plan. I was confused now why is she upset with your one way ticket if she is such a spontaneous person. Now I see that a “free spirit” one is the second sister, not the one you originally stayed with.

Are you seeing that psychologist/therapist you liked? I hope you continue with him