#194

She’s right. I understand what Eskie is saying.

This is part of me being conditioned to yearn for her approval.

For the kids, I do think there’s a part in each of them that’s empty because they’re missing something from their mother. I very much tried to make peace between her and the kids for years

A couple of weeks ago my daughter commented about her mother exploiting men for money, but those men will get what they paid for first. That hurt to hear, but her being exploited is not something my wife ever foresaw. She envisioned that somehow she’d be the one with the power. In actuality she’ll have less power than the men she’ll try to exploit.

There are a LOT of homeless people near my work. My wife fantasized about driving me into homelessness. She said “All you’ll ever be able to afford is a room in someone’s house. You’ll have nothing”

I wonder if I’ll see her homeless sometimes when I drive past these encampments. Or if she’ll end up latched onto someone in a mutually exploitive relationship.