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Originally Posted by InkyBooky
That feels so dismissive on his part. Maybe he isn't personally affected by the energy of a space (although I doubt that), but I'm truly surprised he would presume to tell you you're wrong about your strong reactions to saying goodbye to that space forever.
It's pretty common for people to have reactions to a physical space. For example, if you walk into your old school building, even years later, you might feel strong nostalgia or even dread (depending on your experience in that building). If you've spent a lot of time in a hospital for yourself or a loved one it may be hard to physically be in one again, even years later, due to the physical and emotional affect the space has on you. If a child has a familiar/safe home that they are forced to leave due to a move or change- that can be very destabilizing for kids and take a long time to adjust to.
I think physical spaces can hold a lot of feelings and energy for us, especially very scary ones where we felt a lot of fear and dread, or very safe ones where we've spent a great deal of time feeling safe and being vulnerable. I personally feel incredibly safe in my own bedroom and it has nothing to do with any other people who may have shard the space with me, even in a positive way. It is literally and truly a safe space for me. A sanctuary where I feel safe enough to sleep. If I had to move homes I know it would take a long time to adjust to a new sleeping space.
Anyway, just weird that he would be so dismissive of this concept. I wonder if it's because he too is having some big feelings about the move- but he doesn't like being vulnerable, scared or sad, so....
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Hi Inky. Thanks for your comments. I do actually wonder, like you say, whether some of his reaction is about his own feelings of leaving the space. He's said numerous times since announcing the move that some clients have said it's the nicest therapy space they've ever seen, and he's sure no one would say that about the new office. I said, "Maybe they would," and he replied, "I doubt it." And has said it's a downgrade. Perhaps he's also doubting he made the right choice?
He also looked like he was wiping a tear or two when I read the thank-you note I'd written to the office (I was looking down reading most of the time). And he said at one point that he'd miss it, too. So maybe he's also trying to convince himself that nothing will really change, as he's saying that to me.
I agree it's common to have strong reactions to spaces, positive or negative, where you've spent a lot of time. I think I've mentioned this here, but he's also said he's been surprised at how strongly I'm reacting to this (I mean, shouldn't it have been obvious? He knows I get attached to people and objects--why not spaces?). Maybe he just thought it would be no big deal for all his clients? He said how some don't seem affected at all (I asked--I don't feel he was saying that to make me feel bad or anything). It just seems he was being a bit delusional thinking no one would care--I imagine some of his co-workers' clients are affected, too (they're all moving).