I don't see how showing empathy to your former wife can serve to address your current financial problems.
In the past, showing her empathy brought "companionship" as a reward. What kind of companionship can you expect from an ex-wife?
Seems to me that a post-divorce relationship - where kids are involved - is best kept in a business-like way. As co-parents, reality requires you two to communicate. That probably shouldn't involve lengthy exchanges of heartfelt emotion. I think you want to shoot for a courteous tone in communicating with your ex. "Closeness" is no longer on the menu, so to speak.