When I said "never officially ended it" I don't mean I just walked away. I said "I don't want to talk to you anymore," and they kept trying to get me to talk to them, and I said "leave me alone," and they did not, and then I said "get the fcck away from me and go to hell," and then we didn't talk for a bit. Then came the excessive amount of "hey, you need to come back" messages, but we make plans and become attached again and they send me a pic of one of the men they've fccked? Yeah, I know I'm awful because I didn't directly say "I do not want to be in any sort of relationship with you."
Prior to the last bout of our relationship there was a period of not talking after our first bout of the relationship (I was out of state being drugged and fccked). I told them I don't trust them and freaked out about them being in pornos. They said they see I'm unwell and will give me space. Saw each other at the library when I wasn't crying and-boom-back to talking and fccking.
What do I say, word for word, to get them off my back? How do I say it without having a meltdown? I apparently need a step by step instruction guide because every time *I* end it either we get back together or she kills herself, so...obviously I'm bad at this.