My Support Forums - View Single Post - Bipolar Check-in #80

LadyShadow · Jun 27, 2024, 11:39 AM

Thanks for all the wonderful birthday wishes guys!! It means so much to me that you all wished me a happy birthday. It's the little things in life that make you happy sometimes.

I had a rough night. My boyfriend had something to do with his daughter and it prompted me to feel that I was second place immediately. It sparked in me so many "not good enough" feelings that I almost ruined my whole birthday night. But when I called my friend, he said that I really needed to look past that and enjoy my independence more instead of depending so much on this relationship. I didn't want to do that, but I see myself doing it.

The hardest news was that Giovanni met someone. I feel up and down about my ex moving on, but I knew it would happen eventually. Like in some crazy reality I wanted him to be single forever and missing me, lol, how selfish is that? I think it's so good he's moving on though because now I have the permission that I needed to move on and be happy. Not that I needed permission, but I am no longer holding on to guilt.

Bipolar wise I am all over the place. I haven't been sleeping and I am at work today dreading the drive home. I think I am stable, but my emotions are high. Therapy went really well the day before my birthday, and my writing class is finishing up this week. Gotta stop all the drama and self-sabotaging, but I feel like that all of that is my bipolar DNA.