I feel for you in that you have had to deal with someone you love having substance abuse problems all your life. It’s VERY hard because drunk or sober this disease/disorder always comes first. The person with the disease disorder has problems regulating their emotions and if you grow up with this challenge in your home environment you don’t really ever feel safe. It’s not something one can always put into words. It becomes familiar and it’s not really discussed, just one of those secrets one can’t really talk about.

Your wife has chosen to put her disease/disorder first. It can be cold and it can hurt every family member. Your wife has also been stealing money from her own children because she needs the money to support her substance abuse DISORDER and this disorder has many narcissistic behaviors to it. Narcissists can’t regulate their emotions and they take it out on others.